Writing through tragedy…I’ve tried to write this post a dozen times. It’s a hard process to write about because it’s a hard thing to do. It’s been said before that writing through personal tragedy can be theraputic, even if you can’t use these pieces for publication. And agents caution against sending them your tragically-inspired but unmarketable manuscripts. I can’t really add anything new to that. What I can offer is my own testimony–one writer’s account of writing through tragedy.

The topic has been on my mind lately because today, my daughter (who was stillborn) would have been one year old. We knew about her severe genetic condition prior to her birth, which in some ways made it easier when the time came, but it also made it a long, drawn-out ordeal. I can’t offer any sage wisdom, only offer up the things I learned along the way. And yes, I found writing theraputic. As writers, it is through the written word that we explore concepts, situations, angles on the world. I think that’s why writing through tragedy has such value for us. I wrote in my journal, I worked on my wip…And any tragedy is going to stir up raw, passionate emotions–the stuff of good fiction. It opens your eyes to deep things you don’t always think about, makes you think of how fragile the world really is. Even if what you’re writing is a different situation than what you’re going through, those dramatic thoughts and feelings can be useful in adding dimension to a book.

In whatever form it takes, I think the ultimate professional benefit of writing through tragedy is to connect with people, even help them, somehow. Plugging raw emotion and contemplative prose into your wip builds a sense of camraderie between reader and writer, even if indirectly. But as I said, writing was theraputic for me as well. In a tragedy, it seems like there’s this almost universal desire to do something, to help somehow, to contribute in some way–especially when the tragedy revolves around your own child. And one way writing was theraputic for me: I wrote my daughter a story. In that terrible time, there wasn’t a lot I had control over, and even though her genetic condition was no fault of my own, a parent always feels like it’s her fault when something is wrong with her children. Writing this story for her was the one thing I knew I could do right. And that feeling of being in control of something helped enormously.

So no, I haven’t reinvented the wheel with this post, but sometimes examples of experiences carry more weight than rote instruction and advice. And as novelists and fiction readers, we’re always on the lookout for a story to connect to in some way. This is mine.